Friday, February 13, 2009
Outlasting Marital Unhappiness
I was thinking…
A journalist who has written a series of books on family and marriage is suggesting that the longer a marriage lasts the more adjusted a couple is to each other. In spite of a diminishing libido, “Older couples, compared to middle-aged couples, expressed lower levels of anger, disgust, belligerence and whining and higher levels of one important emotion, namely affection….emotional stability steadily improves.”
Then the author considered if unhappily married people should split up. Does divorce make people happy? Her “short answer seems to be rarely…unhappily married adults who divorced or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married to the same partner. Only one in five of them was happily remarried. More surprisingly, a majority of those who remained married pronounced themselves happy at the end of the five-year period.”
Every marriage goes through difficult times, rough patches, and strained periods. If you want to leave because you are unhappy, studies and reports show that you ought to hang on, in the middle of your unhappiness. At the very worst, a known unhappiness (unless your life is being physically threatened) is better than an unknown unhappiness. And if the potential for known unhappiness to turn into known and unknown happiness is likely as you get older, hold on. You can outlast your unhappy marriage season to a better adjusted relationship of affection. I know!
However, you need spiritual, supernatural, salvation to facilitate your move to maturity. Ask me how.